Not knowing

I hate not knowing! I enjoy life as much as the next person I take the good along witht the bad and i move on, but everything that happens I know whats going on. So now when my liveing situtaion is up in the air and im being pulled in two different directions you can see how this is throwing my mind into a spin that i would love not to be in. Almost everyone either has no clue, dosen't want to move or wants thier own room. Whats my stance on all of this?, I really dont care! As long as i have a place to lay my head at night i'll be fine. Why dont i see this endding well? This is just way to much drama over something that should be so simple. It's time like this that make me think i should have jsut stayed at home and moved out when i had the money. But then again i wouldnt have grown into who i am now. Despite all of that we need to get this solved before life solves it for us and that wont be a pretty site at all.

Fantasic

Ok just saw the fantasic four trailer, wow. I mean WOW i honestly can't wait till this movie comes out for me being a geek and all this was almost as good of a visual joygasim, phrase coined my Jim carey while playing the riddler in one of the batman movies, as the new batman movie. WOW

Roll out of bed

A few days ago I was asked “why do people get up in the morning". I think this was meant to mean "why do people even wake up", a glass kind of empty comment. But, it did get me to thinking what makes people decided to get up in the morning? What drives a person to get going even though their day could be good or bad and never knowing which one it'll be? So, I thought about this for awhile, hence me posting this now after a few days, and this question still intrigues me and I feel it should be explored further. I know why I get up in the morning I love the challenge that life brings me. Any other state of being is so cut and dry nothing is more random than living. We have no control over what happens after the proverbial "shit" hitting the fan and we have no clue of how long the silver lining goes thorough our dark clouds. I've known people that have gone into spirals of depression just from one thing going wrong in there lives. Take me for example when I do anything be it for good or for bad there’s a certain mental accept ion of the results that can come from the things that I do. Now I can't lie I used to be like that I swear life was my biggest enemy my head just couldn’t wrap itself around me not being in control of every situation, but now I see that one must give up a little control just to have control. Sometimes I just want to go around and ask people why they “get up" in the morning. Do they look forward to the challenge of it all, do they wake up out of a sense of duty but if given the option they would rather not do anything at all? Do they wake up for someone else other than themselves? In the end we are all different and I could spend a lifetime trying to figure out what gives some people the motivation to get there shit together and roll out of the warmth that we all experience when we are tucked safely away in our beds. This question requires more thought.

wolf

Long day

You ever have one of thoes days when you feel like your mental defenses are down? One of thoes days that even consructive critisim is not taken in a harsh way but taken in a way that it just grates on your nerves? Im having one of thoes days today. I worked at both locations of my job today i say this just as a statment not as an explination to my feeling the way i do right now it just is the way it is, my day was long, im tiered, and I wish to place what is going on in my head at this point in time here instead of internalizing everything. See that one of the good things about haveing a space like this, I can word things the way i want if you find it confusing or don't get what im saying it doesnt really matter to me cause i do this for me. I dont want people to think that I am a person who can't get his thoughts together in a nice orderly fashion so that everything is easy to read and understand because i could if i wanted to, I just dont. I have opend this space for people to read if they so chose and take from this what they do, if they take anything at all. Last time i checked there wasn't rules to what a person places into one of these things I knwo people who talk about everylast iota of their lives and people who talk about there relationship trobles with people of the opposite sex. Me i wish to make my space as fluid as possible so i can talk to you my "non-readers", wich refers to me by the way because i don't read this over and over agin to see whats going on in my head or in my life im liveing and thinking this shit so why would i want to go back and revisit it? This could be what i truely ment to say in my first post but make no mistake that this is me. A very rambaly person, if thats even a word and if it's not it is now. So take from this what you will and if you dont thats good too.

wolf

Meanings of things or whatever you want to call it

Ok so im a little slow in answering my emails that I get from time to time....well a little slow is an understatement, im alot slow. So slow in fact that im posting here instead of responding back to emails that ive gotten over the past few days, but im busy and i can alow myself these little delays in corrispondance, can't I? The cool news is that I put some money on the cell phone so i should be back among thoes who can communticate effectivly again in a few weeks, yes i know ive said that before dear non-readers, but this time it's true I sware, pinky sware even. I see that I said in my last post that I would explain why I named this thing life of five ring, not life offerings, you know who, but that will have to wait until i sit down and really put some thought into the why's of why i did it and not just cause it sounded cool, again trust me i didn't name it that cause it sounded cool. But I will say this non-readers, I sign this stuff wolf cause its sort of become a totem for me. After you read that i ask you to go out and search for what a wolf totem means or better yet find out what is the meaning behind the animal itself , you might be supprised maybe ill post how i came about this little tidbit of my life when i post the meaning for the name of this site, maybe. Also my fav colors are balck white and grey, honestly they have always been them and i havent changed them since i was a wee lad, but the meanings behind them are just as intereseting if you care so much to look for that kind of stuff, but anyhoo, i think it might be time for mario party or some other the bumble so ill catch ya. Oh yeah i think i have it set up on this thing that anyone can psot who reads this now so feel free and damn the man for trying to get you people to join something thats free just to post

Wolf

weekend update/news

As you can see oh dear non-reader I changed the way my site looks. I think this looks better with the general theme of the site. That reminds me most people don’t really say why they chose to name their blogg what they name it I might write that up sometime soon it's kinda stupid just putting things here with out any background on why I called this site this or why I say non-readers instead of you guys or shit like that. Also for all the people who have gotten to this site from my IM that should becoming down sometime soon so if you haven’t bookmarked this then oh well, but anyhoo on to the post.
Ahhhh, this past weekend was kinda nice. My girlfriend came up for a visit and I must say again that was kinda nice. The only downside to this weekend was that I didn’t get to play my game. Now don’t get me wrong this weekend was still good without that, but im addicted to WOW and if ya don’t know what that stands for im not saying, =).

ehhh night life

I realize that I have now grown very tiered of going out up here. It's not like i dont enjoy being out amongst people i mean hell I work in a damn Mall if i didnt like people why the hell would i work there? But its like i just want to hang at the crib with a good group of people and have a fun time. Is that too much to ask, but when i look at the types of environs that permeate the area im left with little recourse but to stay in the house. Wait i could be wrong about all this i could be seeing this situation out of my lack of female companionship up here. But my girlfriend will be comeing up tomorrow so that will.....should get rid of this whole miasma that is hagging over me. The only downer to all of that is that i recently lost my Pa ID, well i didnt lose it it just expiered and im not really in a hurry to get a new one. See im trying to not go to the dmv until im ready to take the test to get my real DL, but the damn book reads like stereo instuctions so my mind is all a twitter with learning this stuff, but im hopefull that when i take this test ill pass.

year in review

So last year is over now. I dont really know how i feel about this past year. I mean some crazy shit has happend to me that I really can't forget and i dont really want to anyway. Right now im sitting in my room as my roommates watch a movie on dvd and i would like to watch it with them, ya know. do the whole roommate bonding thing but im i think ,not in to it, somes it up right. I spent my new years in my apt alone yeah i could have gone out but i really didnt want to. I tell you what I wanted to be with my girl friend yesterday and today. But life chose to leave me here stuck in this newly forming ice ball that is state college. Oh well tomorrows another day right?

wolf