The Mediator

Lately i've been thinking, yeah i know scary. How exactly do people end up in relationships? Personally i tend to just end up in them. It starts off very simple innocent even, just hanging out with someone new then at some point I end up spending too much time with them, then poof! I'm in relationship land. Caught in all the clap trap that comes with them. How come there isn't some sort of signal to let you know how far youve gone and wheres the exit is for you to get off if you want to leave this thing before it becomes something more than what people expect. Now yeah i gues all this can be avoided, by talking about where the interaction is going and how best to continue with both parties being mutualy happy about the discusion, but who the hell does that?
Relationships are like "Final Destination", you know a death is coming, but you never know exactly how it will happen. When it does everyone involved is like WHOA!!!! and then the movie that is the relationship continues. And all this is not to mention the relationships where one person blindsides the other with the whole im a nice guy/sane girl routinethen the front that that is doesn't fade away for like a damn year but by then you've lost like a year of your life so you either suffer through the whle thing till one of you does something so crazy that you want to blow your head off, but you dont and you just break up.

My sujestion for the whole realtionship thing is:
A mediator, there should be a person that sits both parties down and goes over the finer points of where you are and what each induvidual wants out of the whole affair. Everything can be laid out from birthdays to that small option of weather we celabrate every month we are together on the date we got together or every year, trust me that first option SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've done it and it makes you broke and sad.

That my suggestion. You may now return to your regular program

wolf

Sex/A kiss

Ok a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, on a continuing mission, while on the run from galactic metal space aliens, a friend of mine once said that a kiss is better than sex.

I told this to another friend of mine who said that she never kisses the men she's with. To this i replied "that says alot". She came back with what does it say. Now here is a very long version of what i said. When a person has sex its easy for them to turn off your emotions to make the act about something physical wrather than emotional. But when you talk about the act of sex there is the unwritten rule of three which states: If a person has sex with with another induvidual atleast one person will develop an emotional attraction for the other person after three times.
That def. is way to long and should be worded better but anyway. Now on the flip side we have the kiss, something that the other person has to be willing to return, we've all had a kiss that wasn't mutual and it leaves a very bad taste in your mouth, lol theres a joke there. It has to be something that both parties want to do, and it can't be a thing thats just thrown out there cause nobody wants to get the cheek when you go in for a kiss.

I honestly dont think that the kiss after sex counts either, you have all those chemicals running round your hot sweaty bod no one is thinking clearly trust me. Me personally i think the kiss is better, they let you know so much about the person. this discusion might continue it must continue..........

wolf

Tattoo

So I was up until like five in the morning making this, its what i would like to get for a tattoo, i would be able to go to a tatto shop on tues notthat i have money to get it but just to see how much it costbut alas i have to work, but i can put it up here for all you non readers see see: not that its very big to see but you can resize it if your net savy enough

Political Correctness

Seeing as though i live in the region of the world called State college, Pa i thought it was high time someone wrote this, now these views may not by mine or they could be, but i do find these funny. And if you can't laugh at this stuff then you should take the stick out of your ass, with that said:
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
>Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to
>as "HILLBILLIES."
>
>You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
>
>And furthermore ....
>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
>
>1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
>
>2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
>
>3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
>
>4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
>INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
>
>5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
>
>6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
>
>7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
>INCONVENIENCED"
>
>8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
>
>9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
>
>10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
>
>11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
>SUPERIOR."
>
>12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

12 TYPES OF FEMALES

This was sent to me by a very good friend so big up's to her for sending it

12 TYPES OF FEMALES

1. Ms. Gold-Digger

Advantages
a. You have some one to manage your money.
b. She always looks good.
c. She makes your other boyz jealous.
d. She makes you look good.

Disadvantages
a. When you get broke she'll be gone and take what you have left. b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support. c. Once your boy comes up she'll be on his arm the next day.



2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)

Advantages
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She'll try everything more than once.
c. You're never unsatisfied.
d. She'll do all the things your girl won't do.
e. She doesn't mind being your freak, as long as she catches one too.

Disadvantages
a. Eventually, b/c she's a female, she'll end up catching feelings. b. She starts to act like she's your "main". c. She fucks wit ya boy and act like you in the wrong for telling her that she's a freak. d. Eventually her shit gets old. And you need a replacement.



3. Ms. Independent

Advantages
a. You don't have to worry about buying her anything. She got it. b. She's intelligent, sassy, confident and determined. c. She's great for (business) conversation. d. She keeps it real and has goals. e. She knows how to please a man.

Disadvantages
a. She will continuously let you know, that she can handle it on her own. b. She will eventually say fuck you and get a dildo. c. She will consider you another one her play toys, or goals.


4. Ms. Dyme
Advantages
a. She's top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a "model"
e. Gets you on hard whenever you see her.
f. All the girls envy her, but she doesn't care.

Disadvantages
a. She's superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks. c. She's probably dumb as hell and if she's not her personality is dry. d. You have to constantly keep your game up b/c every man is gonna try to get her.


5. Ms. Tomboy

Advantages
a. She's cool and laid back.
b. She'll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course, she loves sports.
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She's easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She's a diamond in the rough.

Disadvantages
a. She'll remind you too much of your boyz.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football and track.


6. Ms. Ghetto

Advantages
a. She's not afraid of any other female or male. She will fight to keep you. b. She's down for you. She'll be there to bail you out of jail. c. She's always stays fresh. d. She can cook up a storm. She can make the best out of a bad situation. e. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.

Disadvantages
a. She doesn't know how to act in public.
b. Your mama can't stand her.
c. You get into with her every other second.
d. She's willing to fight another girl looking at you or her PERIOD. e. Her weave colors are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal.


7. Ms. Good Girl

Advantages
a. She's always there for you.
b. She's intelligent, classy, kind, sweet and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.

Disadvantages
a. She's an A or B situation . Either:
- You're not gonna get any until ya'll are married or
- She said she's never done - she said she's never tried - she's sitting there telling a muthafukkin' lie.


8. Ms. Main

Advantages
a. She is the one you respect.
b. She probably may know about the others but might not care. c. She has all the qualities you want in a female. d. You've been with her forever.

Disadvantages
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment. b. She will devise a plan to catch you in your act and then kick your ass


9. Ms. Psycho

Advantages
a. She's fun and spontaneous.
b. She's down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her. e. She makes you feel loved.

Disadvantages
a. Don't you break up with her. She will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you. c. She can manipulate the hell out of you. d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side. e. Fuckin' with her can make your life a living hell.


10. Ms. I have a Man

Advantages
a. She may have a man but she'll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.

Disadvantages
a. She'll always come crying to you about the problems with her man. b. She'll get you caught up and then leave you anyway for her man. c. If you piss her off she'll get her man to come beat your ass. d. She'll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.

11. Ms. Tease

Advantages
a. She's tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She's intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it. f. Every time you see her you catch a mini orgasm. g. Every man wants her b/c she's so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.

Disadvantages
a. NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about. c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable)


12. MRS. RIGHT

Advantages
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme - she is Beautiful and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions. b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy. c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother's. d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body. e. She believes in God and follows his virtues. f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%. g. She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Spiritually, and Sexually. h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you. i. She's always there for, no matter what your dreams are. j. She's not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight. k. You can talk to her and confide in her, she's your best friend. l. You love being around her more than your boys. m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex. n. You can have a bad argument with her and still have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest when you make up . o. She's always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your *bleep*. But she also has enough self respect to know when to leave. p. She's nothing like any other girl you've met. She's your woman.

Disadvantage
a. You've probably met her, or had her in your life but got too consumed with all the other types that you let her get away.

Every time I think im out.....

New employee: " So how old are you"
Me: " I'm 26 I'll be 27 in aug, how old are you? "
Ne: " I'm 23, so are you single do you have a girlfriend? "
Me: " I 'm single, but I have places I lay my head when i want to"
Ne: " Places, wow! So your like a pimp or something?"
Me: " No, i said places plural i count my home in all that"
Ne: " Riiiight, I'll let you slide this time"

Fastforward to the end of the night. There has been alot of shamless inuendos thrown about. One in particular about how being bad at oral is a crime. And about how that i haven't met a woman i can't handel, needless to say the response was " well your looking at her.

Me: "thanks for helping me count the deposit"
Ne: " It's cool the next time will cost you"
Me: " oh really and whats the charge?"
Ne: " well you'll just have to wait till next time to find out."
Ne: " So when's the next time i work with you?"
Me: " I have no idea you would have to ask lisa about that"
Ne: " we'll i guess ill see you later"
Me: " yeah ill see you sometime"

Then she hugs me.

Yes it's almost summer time dear non readers, and for some reason the summer is my on season. This chic wants me to do her. Yes i know thats a very arrogant statment and yeah she could just be very friendly, but you dont ask for particulars like this. And yeah i have been know to drop many inuendos over the course of a conversation hell thats my usual form of comedy. But ive already had a co worker who acted this same exact way. So all the signs are there. She wants me, and when i post letting you all know what happened, ll try not to say i told you so.

wolf