Political Correctness

Seeing as though i live in the region of the world called State college, Pa i thought it was high time someone wrote this, now these views may not by mine or they could be, but i do find these funny. And if you can't laugh at this stuff then you should take the stick out of your ass, with that said:
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
>Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to
>as "HILLBILLIES."
>
>You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
>
>And furthermore ....
>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
>
>1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
>
>2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
>
>3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
>
>4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
>INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
>
>5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
>
>6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
>
>7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
>INCONVENIENCED"
>
>8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
>
>9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
>
>10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
>
>11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
>SUPERIOR."
>
>12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."