It's been a month almost since the last time i posted on here, yeah im not dead belive it or not. Honestly i came damn near close to being dead though. My last post was written under the haze that is nyquil. Despite me being in the middle of one of my forest fires of revenge, i was sick off my ass and still going to work. I only took off for one day while my body temp went from way above normal to way below the outside temp, and i live in the moutains. It got so bad that at one point i personally had the heat in my apartment on ninety, but to me it felt like sixty if i was lucky. But im over that now and i just have a constant cough but even thats slowly going away.
During all that i had a long time to think, and you know what? I really bored up here, its not so much that i dont have things to do but im bored for comeing back to this place and seeing the same people. I guess its a hold over from me living with my mother for like forever, she gave me my space and i gave her hers, its was almost like we each had our own house and the other person was just visiting. But here its like wall to wall people all the damn time. Now, dont get me wrong I like these guys they're my familly but I like it when they go to work and i have this place to myself. But i guess you go through that from time to time when you have people around you all the time. You know what else i miss alot of things about my life back home many of wich i really dont want to put here, but i do. Ill be on my way to work and ill see people or ill be at work and they will remind me of places and people that take me so far back im like why the hell did i do what i did way back when, or how come theres no way that blah blah can't be up here. Then theres one part, a big part really, thats sees kids in the mall and i go through the why's and what if's from a portion of my life........
.....people never really see me stop and look, or when i dont really pay them any attention when they're saying things that they deem important. But i guess even when i get over thoese lil things that i miss from home that will still be there right at the forefront of my mind that what if and how come. Thats what i miss most you know, there where so many things that i wanted to do conserning that, but that first oprtunity is gone now, im working on round two, for lack of a better analogy, im getting all choked up here, and this was supposed to be all nice and quick. Anyway, dear non readers im not dead, almost was, but im not. Im still here.
Wolf
