A post with some meat on it

I really don’t get the time to put up anything of substance on here any more. I don’t have my pc and I don’t even have my own room, which now has a very slow computer in it that im on right now. Lately the fact that I don’t have a girl friend has been on my mind a great deal. I know it shouldn’t be, what with working all the damn time, bills, and making sure I have a roof over my head, but it is. A few post back I said I missed my girl friend, we broke up, can’t miss her anymore. Then there was the holly chic, her people were, wait are, racist, we stopped talking. So here I am sitting on my couch writing this, now typing this, cause I can’t get a moment to my damn self in the place cause I live with to many people. And I realized that

I HATE BEING ALONE!

I miss being able to escape from all of this. To talk to some one that wants to put up with my bullshit. I miss looking down at a woman who could care less what we do, just as long as she was with me doing it.

I miss..

Kissing

Holding

Touching

Talking

Fondling

Fucking (these last two are last for a reason)

All that shit and more.

Yeah I know I should just get out there, but you know what when you get out there it’s nothing but a bunch of idiots, I know I’ve seen them. I know most of them. I don’t need a woman who has to wear the latest shit, or is to good to just go to a damn regular bar, just because it doesn’t play the latest and greatest rap R&B hip-hop or whatever the hell else you want to call it. You know what I need I want a woman like they had in all those 80’s movies, a woman who doesn’t know she’s hot until you take of the glasses and then BAM! She like a damn supermodel, but somehow she’s still down to earth. Yeah I know they don’t exist, but this is my rant don’t piss me off.

*clears throat regain composer*

A while back I was asked to get married?!?!?!?!?!? ß my initial reaction.

The more I think about it im like why the hell not. But ya know how sick and twisted does life have to be for me to be asked to marry someone that I can’t see, touch, date, or hold. The weird thing is that all of that I don’t care about, I know this person, have know her for almost like forever. And I think about her a lot now, there are a lot of things that have gone down between us some things that I wish I could take back, things that were said and done through our history. Honestly, there are things that I’ve said and done pertaining to her that I regret, and I try not to regret anything, but those things I do……

*not choked up just need to stop for a few*

Ok, were was I oh yeah me alone. It’s sucks lack of female companionship sucks, and if I have to spend one more season looking at these bastards im going to take a fucking hostage, yes I know putting this on here makes it premeditated and all that, but so what! If I have to go out with the and their girl friends one hostage will die every hour one the hour until…..well I haven’t thought that far yet but believe me when I do I better have a girlfriend so some crazy shit doesn’t happen. I’m a big boy I can deal ( slaps himself on his chest manly fashion), but being alone still sucks!